


The First Annual Vortex Hot Wings Championship

by Ramblingandpie



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Food, suvi licks the science
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-26 15:11:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17748242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ramblingandpie/pseuds/Ramblingandpie
Summary: Since Chiles and other spicy peppers aren't a big agricultural priority, it's been ages since Suvi has had something decently spicy. When The Vortex announces that they've discovered an Andromedan alternative, she jumps at the chance to joint a hot wings eating competition. Set after the game.





	The First Annual Vortex Hot Wings Championship

It started innocently enough, as so many things do, with an e-mail from Suvi requesting that Ryder stop by. Suvi still sent e-mails as though Ryder didn’t stop by every time she was aboard the Tempest to, if she was lucky and Suvi wasn’t in the middle of something, steal a kiss. Although they shared quarters now, they both kept unusual enough schedules that seeing each other that way was no guarantee.

 

Suvi held the datapad out for Ryder’s inspection. “Ryder. Can we please try to make it to this? It would mean the world to me.”

 

The flyer had clearly been put together by someone with no concept of design, but Ryder quickly gathered that it was some kind of eating contest. “I didn’t realize you had a competitive streak in you.”

 

“It’s not that,” Suvi corrected. “It’s just that even though I know they brought along the materials to grow it eventually, capsaicin isn’t a priority right now due to its low nutritional value. Researchers found a plant on Havarl that has a similar effect on humans, and found a way to distill it so that it’s only mildly toxic.”

 

“M-hm. So. You’re only going to poison yourself a little bit this time?”

 

Suvi scoffed. “Ryder, so many things we eat are poison! Capsaicin itself is very much an irritant. Botulism has medicinal applications. Don’t get me started on alcohol.”

 

“Okay, so you want to join this eating contest because you just want to try it? I’m pretty sure we can arrange for that any time. I am the Pathfinder, you know.”

 

Suvi scowled. “I don’t just want to try it, Ryder. I want to enjoy it. Do you know how long it has been since I’ve had good spicy food?” Ryder shrugged. “Not since we left the Milky Way. No, I don’t want to eat it. I want to indulge in it.”

 

Ryder sighed. Suvi so rarely asked for things, and this was clearly important. “We’ll be there. Go sign up.”

 

Suvi beamed. “Thank you, Ryder.” Ryder kissed Suvi’s forehead. Truthfully, she would do just about anything to get Suvi to smile like that.

 

***

 

The contest took place at The Vortex. The rules were simple. Nothing to drink, and they would bring out progressively spicier wings for the contestants. A large pitcher of beer and a full cup of beer were placed before each participant, and when they drank, they were out.

 

They started with eight people. By the third wing, half had folded. This was clearly not for amateurs.

 

Liam put an arm around Ryder’s shoulders, clinking his beer mug against hers. “She’s really going for it, isn’t she?” he said.

 

“She sure is,” Ryder replied, taking a sip of her own drink.

 

Suvi had not even broken a sweat, and was smiling as she graciously accepted the fourth plate. It had two wings that were coated in an unnaturally bright purple sauce. The contestant to her left took one bite and began coughing almost immediately; he chugged his beer and left the table, head hanging down in defeat. The woman to her right was beginning to sweat and turn pink.

 

Suvi closed her eyes and clearly savored the first bite. She finished both wings, and then licked her fingertips clean. As she waited for the next set, she gave Ryder a double thumbs-up. The bar was too loud for them to hear each other over the heckling and whooping of the crowd. They hadn’t even been able to get a spot very close to the table, as the event had turned standing room only.

 

Lexi sighed. She had insisted on coming along just in case the initial evaluations were incorrect about the toxicity levels. “I don’t understand it, Ryder. Alcohol, at least, I can understand. Why this?”

 

PeeBee shrugged. “Lighten up, Lexi. Some people just like to live dangerously. Though I’d never expect that of Miss Obsessed-With-Rocks over there.” She jerked a thumb in Suvi’s direction. “I’m just disappointed it doesn’t work on us. Anan said it just tastes like wet grass to us.” She grimaced as she said it. “Yuck.”

 

Ryder laughed. “If Suvi is right, we should have actual oldschool hot sauce in another two or three years, once they’re able to get a good crop of chiles grown.” The entire ride from Eos to the Nexus had involved being regaled with information about growing cycles different peppers.

 

“That sounds amazing,” Liam said. “I mean. Great that we have something in the meantime, but I don’t know if I could get over the color.”

 

There was a deep, rumbling sound from Jaal. “I have seen you eat purple foods many times, Liam.”

 

“But they’re not supposed to be spicy!” Liam protested. “Purple foods are sweet, like grapes and plums and Kool-Aid.”

 

“I think this is something about humans I will continue to not understand,” Jaal concluded.

 

Up at the table, the number of competitors continued to dwindle.The contest quickly came down to her and one other by the sixth plate, a clearly stubborn woman whose hair clung to her forehead from the sweat. Suvi was beginning to get a little tinge of pink to her cheeks.

 

They set the seventh plate down. Suvi paused and took several deep breaths. Her competitor looked at the plate, a little green at the gills.

 

Suvi picked up the wing, closed her eyes, and took a tentative bite just as the other woman ran from the table in the direction of the restroom.

 

The bar broke out in cheers and hollers so loudly that Suvi dropped the wing right back onto her plate.

 

“We have a winner!” Dutch announced, stepping beside her. “Suvi Anwar, your Havarl Hot Wing Champion! Suvi, stand up and greet your adoring crowd!”

 

She froze as if in shock. “But I-” she gulped. “I haven’t finished this plate yet. And it is really, really good!”

 

***

 

Back on the Tempest later, Suvi and Ryder managed to both have simultaneous downtime. Ryder had already told SAM to go to standby so that they could celebrate.

 

“I just kept trying to close my eyes so I could enjoy it and not pay attention to the others,” Suvi said. “I didn’t even mean to win.” She set the small makeshift trophy down on Ryder’s desk.

 

“But you did,” Ryder said. “And I hope that satisfied your craving.”

 

“Oh, it did!” Suvi said, a broad grin on her face. “It’s not quite the same flavor profile, but definitely hits the same points. And Dutch said he’d keep a note of the last one I had so that he can make me a batch special anytime.”

 

Ryder smiled. “Good. Then you’ll need to actually take some downtime in order to get them.”

 

Suvi blushed. “I know it’s important. I’m working on it.”

 

Ryder shrugged. “No worries. But come here. Let’s enjoy this moment to celebrate.”

 

Suvi walked over to where Ryder sat on the bed. She straddled Ryder’s lap. “Is this what you had in mind?”

 

“Something like that,” Ryder said, and leaned forward for a deep kiss.

 

The next few seconds were bliss, until Ryder pulled away. “Oh my god, oh my god Suvi, I love you but I have to stop. SAM?” she called.

 

“What’s the matter, Ryder?” Suvi stepped away, eyebrows furrowed with concern.

 

“Oh my god it burns. SAM, fix it. Fix it please.”

 

It took a brief moment for the realization of what had happened to dawn on Suvi, and in that moment, Ryder’s face went from a grimace to calm.

 

“Too much for you, eh, Ryder?”

 

Ryder’s words came out slowly and awkwardly. “Ip’th nop bunny.”

 

SAM began to speak from Ryder’s desk to explain. “In order to numb the heat and pain receptors, Ryder, I had to numb your entire mouth. I recommend keeping it numbed for several hours so that the reaction can run its course.”

 

Suvi began to laugh.

 

“Ip’th nop bunny!” Ryder repeated.

 

“It’s kind of funny,” Suvi said, as she sat next to Ryder and wrapped a hand around her waist.

 

Ryder leaned her head on Suvi’s shoulder. Suvi stroked Ryder’s hair. “Feels okay, now, though?”

 

“Yeth.”

 

“Good. I’m sorry I laughed.”

 

“Ip’th othay.” Ryder paused. “Ip ith pind ob bunny.”

 

Suvi giggled. “Maybe we’ll just call it an early night, then, hm? Give you a chance to heal up.”

 

Ryder sighed.

 

Suvi continued. “And. I promise that I won’t eat them unless I know you’ll be busy.”

 

“Pank yuu.”

 

“You’re welcome, love.” Suvi ran a hand through Ryder’s hair. “Besides. It’s good to know the great Pathfinder has weaknesses. Who knew you could defeat the Kett but can’t take on a plate of spice?”

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: I am actually allergic to peppers and over the years have lost my ability to eat hot sauce, so this is in a way a wish fulfillment fic. But. I knew I wanted to write Suvi in some kind of eating competition since it seems like her kind of thing.


End file.
